A Second Chance at Success or Maybe Third :)

Have you ever felt like you have gotten a second chance?? At anything??  I feel like I have gotten the chance of a lifetime to stay up here in da Berg! :)  I freaking love it up here!  I also have missed home the most I have ever have in my life.  I think this semester has been a really great one for me.  I seriously have learned so very much from myself and the people around me... :D  It makes me so happy that I could experience last semester to really appreciate this semester as much as I have!   I even had the experience of my first kiss this semester!  :) I will claim it too!  It was a relationship that I learned a lot.  His name was Tyler and he was and is a really great guy.  He didn't really seem to me as a guy that was "that guy" for me, but pretty close...  And, to be honest, I learned a lot from him.  He was a gentleman.  He opened my doors, he walked on the outside of the street for me, which I had never seen that before, he would offer me his jacket, he would cuddle me so I was warm, he would make sure that I was warm and comfortable.  He would call me on the phone and hardly text me.  He was SUCH a great guy and he just liked me for me.  Things between us didn't work out, but I saw it coming.
I have found when I stay close to the spirit, I can really understand things.  The Lord gives me opportunity to perceive His will in all things, and just to discern, to see far enough in the future to know the result of my decisions, and he guides me through those decisions, righteously!  He is always there, has always been there.  Life, I have found, has been so much better since I have discovered these things.  Following promptings and listening to the spirit, is the most amazing thing that you can do.  You see with different eyes an you also can be the person you have always wanted to be.  I have always had this passion for learning, seeking understanding and wisdom.  I have been having such a hard time finding the thing that I want to put my education towards.  I have thought of Art, Music, History, English, Political Science, Family Studies, Psychology, Sociology.  There are so many things that interest me, and honestly, I feel like I could do well at any of them. I guess all I can really do, is continue to learn about myself and find those things that are TRULY important to me and find opportunities to serve and love the people around me and in my community!
I have met sooooooo many people that I can see myself being friends with forever.  My roommates this semester have been AMAZING!  First off, my roommate, roommate, Megan Sherwood.  I just love her!  She has surely made a big difference in my life!  Last semester, when I was extremely lonely and would just run to get my mind off of everything, she started coming with me and it meant the world to me, even though she didn't even really know it.  We would talk about things and I could just sit and talk to her and she would listen and give input.  That is one thing I need in a relationship, a conversational person.  I don't like always talking.  I love listening and pondering on how I can help, then I take what they say and learn from it myself.  I have decided that is why my relationships don't last long.  Even though it is always the boys that initiate the friend zone, I know that it will be hard, but, in all honesty, I know its the Lord's will for me.  I am okay with it.  Sure, its difficult because to going from someone holding you, kissing you, holding your hand, hanging on your every last word, to..... nothing.  But honestly, something I had to realize, is the Lord is there.  Our Savior is there.  They know where we fit in their grand design.  We voluntarily came to this earth, knowingly of what we were going to go through and who we were going to be with.  And if we play our cards right, we can be close to our Father in Heaven and He can help us know what direction we need to go to find those people!  We just have to be willing to listen.
My other roommates I just love to pieces! :)  There is Haley O'brien, she was here last semester and roomed with Mckenzie!  She is really great and we have became really great friends! :)  Seriously.  These last few days when I feel lonely or sad, she knows just how to cheer me up and get me back in my happy and upbeat mood.  Her and Tessa.  Tessa Wade, I swear, is a sister sent from above!  I don't know why I haven't known her for all of my life.  Perhaps I wasn't ready for her.  She is AMAZING!  I seriously could see me and her growing old together as neighbors until our death beds.  She just gets me.  And we love pretty much the same things and she just speaks Tauni language, which is hard to do.  I just love her.  I want to be JUST like her when I grow up :) We have shared so much already.... and honestly, she is one reason I am scared to go on a mission.  Scared we will loose this great friendship and she will forget about me :(  That is one of my greatest fears of going on a mission.  That all these people will just forget about me for a couple years and then be back to a casual friendships when I get back.  I dunno.  I'm weird, perhaps.  And then there is my Megans.  First, Megan Stout.  WOW!  Me and her were destined to be friends :)  SHe is sooooo great and I can't even describe!  She is this super fun and outgoing girl that is another eternal friend I hope to keep! :)  And Megan Clifford! hehe! She is one of thee girliest girls I have ever met, but I just LOVE her! :)  She is this sweet spirited and nurturing girl! :) I just want to be friends with her forever :) She makes me happy :) But, I don't think she thinks as much as herself as we all see her, but that is one of my missions, to help EVERY SINGLE GIRL in these two apartments feel better about themselves.  Of course, there is only so much I can do, but honestly I think that people don't show appreciation and praise to women as much as they should.  I hope to remind people of who they truly are and that they are beautiful and handsome people. :)
Then there is Kayla, Rachel, and Lindsey.  The girls of my past! :)  Hehehe! I just love them!  They make my world so much better! They are amazing young ladies that I admire sooooo much! :)
I just feel like I have gotten the best of bestest chances to really find myself. :)  I just love it so much!  :) I can't wait to get out there and serve.  I am almost done with my mission papers and I am SO STOAKED! :)  That and I have started religiously writing a few missionaries that are just super great! :)  I just love to learn and being able to serve! :)
I hope you all have a great night!  remember who you are and that you are loved! :) :)
<3 Tauni Ackerman

Well. Ain't life a bliss!?

Well, sorry everyone.  I never did blog really about my trip.... :P  It was really great though!  Really life changing! Well, this semester, I was ready for change, ready for new people, ready for life to begin again as this new, care-free Tauni... Then all these things happen! How is it that no one else has a hard day when they want to cry and curl up in bed and not talk to anyone??  I just need that best friend.  The one that could make me feel better, no matter the circumstance, no matter who's looking, no matter what I want, or how hard I push them away, they would just pull me closer until I knew they were there to stay.  I know.  It isn't exactly the peachy and good stuff I post on here, but I don't know how I am supposed to still smile and love my life when nothing seems like the end of the world.  When will I know when my friends are really there?  How do I know that they aren't just friends with me because they like the people I live with, because they need some distraction until another person comes along?  I can't.  I know, I need to be living as if my life is intended to be enjoyed and not give a hoot in the world.  I need to be showing people how great it is to be me!  That sounds cocky, but for realsies, my life is so blessed, and maybe that is something I need to realize.  That I don't need these "fake" friends, that I don't need a man, that I just need to be searching for what good I can do, what service I can perform for those around me! I just want a friend.  THEE friend that I can spend the rest of forever with, with a shoulder to cry on, the one that will make me laugh when I want to cry, the one that will hold my hand when I want to be alone.  Now, I am not talking about my eternal companion, I want that in my life, eventually, but right now, I need to figure out myself and figure out what exactly it is that truly makes me happy!
How can I be better?
I have been going to the gym every morning at 6 am with my roommate Megan Sherwood and it truly makes me feel amazing and great! I just need to keep working on myself physically so that I can be the best person I can be.  I miss my grandparents and I miss my missionaries.  The truth is, I never was as great of friends with Hans and Tanner as I put off.  I wish I was.  I have changed so much in the last year, but at the same time, I feel exactly the same.  How can a person feel so different but feel exactly the same at the same time!?  I have decided that I really want to go on a mission and that I just want to serve everyone around me! I am so ready to just get out and serve!  That and missing these boys that are on their missions is so hard for me! I can't even think anymore of what I want or what I am just wanting to have.  I thought this semester, I was supposed to stay up here for some unknown reason.  I feel like I keep finding reasons, then they fall through and don't work out.  How is it possible to feel so okay with everything and it not working out?  It doesn't make sense to me.  I feel like I am a pretty cool and chill chick.  Yeah, I have my problems, but who doesn't.  I mean, my life is really great!  I have gained so many new friends this semester and I know that I am supposed to be here, even for my friends that I have already had.  Then I think of the people I associated with last semester, and I think of how unhappy I was.  Yeah, I mean, I had legitimate reason to be sad and to be upset about things, it tends to happen when your heart breaks and then you are left to try to figure out what you could have done differently.  I always wonder with "What if's" but when it comes down to it, they are so pointless and don't do anything.  How can I be so screwed up?!  I know that most girls do those sort of things, ya know, think tons, blame themselves, and try to fix it, but I don't want to be one of those girls.  I want to be Tauni!  I want to be the girl that people are like, "Dang! She's really cool!  I have never met someone like her before!"  and leave that impression of a great spirit and kindness that I wish I would feel from my friends.  It's hard to think that I can't help everyone and I can't be liked by everyone, and that I can't change everyone... I can only help me, change me, like me!  What else can I do?!  I have to like myself first, I have to help myself through these hurtles of mine, I need to change what I don't like and LIKE MYSELF!  I have a pretty good self-esteem but I tend to waiver a bit when I think of all the rejections I have gotten, all of the friends I have lost, the lack of ANY kind of GOOD relationships worth mentioning with boys.  I am honestly just sick of it all and I want change, I want new and fresh!  I thought this semester was too good to be true with so great roommates and neighbors and being asked on so many dates and gaining so many new friends.  It is....  a blessing that I am still here.  I am still trying to figure out why in the crap I am still here and I wish I knew so I could look forward to something.  Sometimes things are hard but we just have to know that something GREAT is around the corner!  Well, this is the LONGEST corner of my life, but I will be patient and keep on waiting! I don't know what else I can do!
What I plan to do?
I feel impressed to just love everyone no matter what and just show them that they matter, that they is important :)  I can't wait any more to serve a mission for the Lord, but for now, I will serve in the ways we are commanded to serve, which is to love one another and Jesus loves us! :)  I am going to give strangers a smile no matter how happy or sad I may be!  I am going to beat this and I am going to enjoy life!  I just need to change this frown upsidedown, wipe these tears away, and LIVE to the FULLEST! And just show that I care to everyone! :)

Well everyone!  It is my bedtime and I wish you all the best of the best on whate'er you are doing!  Love you all!
<3
Tauni Ackerman

Dang! Here am I, so close, yet so far from paradise!!

Man!  Here I am, and my trip is coming up right around the corner!  AWWWWWW!!!  Geez!  I don't think I can wait another day!  I honestly can't even believe this is really happening and its here and I am GOING BACK EAST!!!  Geez!  Okay, so if you all must know, I am going back east for three weeks, with the school, a.k.a, BYU-Idaho, starting August 1st! I get to go on this trip with one of my greatest friends, Mckenzie Leonardson!  Which makes it ALL the better! :)  We are taking classes along with the trip, so we are gaining credits and are required to work and learn even more about the sites we are seeing!  Oh my word, I am sooooooo excited!  Let me tell you all the back story about this.  Last semester, I was in my American Foundation class when we had a guest speaker come in, Brother Pulsipher.  He had come to talk to us about this opportunity to go back east for three weeks and it was a steal deal!  I had to know more!  So, I signed up on a list to know more about it.  $3000 for tour fees, airfare, hotels, two meals a day, then plus tuition for classes and spending money.  That was a crazy insane good price for this trip, but I didn't see a way that I could go.  But, I felt like it was an opportunity of a lifetime and I felt like if I didn't do it now, I wouldn't ever get around to it.  So,  I put down a deposit and called my mom.  We talked about how if I came up with half of the money my mom would pay the other half.  I mean, that was almost $2000 when we added it up!  I had two semesters to come up with the money and I was just waiting and saving!  After a couple of months of trying to find a job and juggle really hard classes, I finally just said, to heck with this!  I just can't handle a job on top of these difficult classes, and I still need money for food and what not.  I then went to my finances to drop my deposit, when.... you'll never guess..... A $3000 SCHOLARSHIP!!  Say WHAAAAA!!!???  I then just sat there.  ASTONISHED!  DUMBFOUNDED!  Any other synonyms for I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!  It was just too perfect, too good to be true!  How in the world does something so miraculous happen to me?!  I cried for a little bit, as I opened the email that stated, "Sorry we got this scholarship out late.  You get $1500 a semester and congratulations!"  If I would have gotten that scholarship at the beginning of the semester.... It would have been gone not fully but it wouldn't have been conveniently there when I needed it!  What a tender mercy!  So, I called my mom and we both cried a little bit and were both just amazed!  I guess I am supposed to go on this trip this summer!  Then I thought about it.... A year from now, who knows where I will be.  I could either be saving up for my mission, or getting married!  WEIRD!!!!  Hahaha! Sometimes its still hard to believe that I am getting to that age!  I just can't even see myself being old enough to do any of these things! Haha!  Well, I am going to try and post every day and keep you all updated on my trip and adventures :)  There is going to be a lot and I can't wait any longer!  :)  Here is a list of places that I am going, just as a heads up, 

- Washington D.C.

- Lexington and Concord

- New York City, Manhattan

- Nauvoo, Independence

- Chicago 

- Philadelphia 

- Adam-ondi-Ahman

I am soooooo excited! :)  I can't wait and I will try to keep you all updated! :)

Signing out enthusiastically,

Tauni Ackerman

Hmmmmm... FINALS!!

If you are thinking I am about to whine about my a not so a million finals........ STOP NOW!  I am not going to do such a thing and bore you with the fun details of how I hardly have any finals and I am done about 6 P.M. tonight!  That is just RUDE! :P  Hahaha! :)  I am in a craaaaaazyyy mood today! Here's a great Joke!

Why do cows wear bells?  :)

  -Because their horns don't work! 

(Either does my truck's!  OH WAIT! It sounds like a train now, if it doesn't click)

Yesterday was a pretty great day! :)  I went to my last class of Marriage Skills, which I think has been one of my favoritest classes this semester!  Too freaking bad it was only 2nd Block :(  Dang!  Hahaha!  But then I ran into my friends Amanda, Jenni, and Jeffery!  :)  It was pretty fun just running into a million people I knew yesterday! I am meeting so many new people and I love it! :)  I am kinda sad that I will be off-track next semester, but I am still living up here at Rexburg, searching FEVERISHLY for a job! :)  
                  I seriously CANNOT wait ANY LONGER for my trip! :)  I am done with being nervous and I just want to go already! :)  It is going to be phenomenal! :)  Yesterday... haha continued, sorry I got sidetracked! :P  that is a funny word! Geez Tauni, STOP IT! :P  haha! Well, if you can't tell, I am a bit crazy today! I have been singing Disney songs all morning like Mulan, Lion King, Hercules, Jungle Book, you name it! Then Blues Clues! :P  I dunno... inner-child coming out today! :)  Haha! Yesterday, there was a Ward party, which was A BLAST! :)  It was at Rexburg Rapids and it was SOOOO GREAT! :)  It was just rented out or our wards enjoyment, and rue in our simple awesomeness :)  No big deal! :)  I have been SOOOO happy I can't seem to get this grin off my face!  I cried a little when I realized that I am almost done with school for the first year and I still don't really know if music is what I need to do right now.  I mean, I would LOVE to be a music major, but something is just off.  I have started to think about transferring schools.  Like, down-right serious!  I had an epiphany of maybe transferring to UVU next Fall.  I would move down, to Utah in the Winter or Spring or so, and gain residency to get a cheaper price to attend there!  I have to figure out if I want to go into History, Music, or .... I don't even know!  This is so hard to decide all these things!! AaaarRrrGggGGGggg (continues to express frustrations in noises that would be ridiculously spelled!)
Anyone, that is wondering, why in the world I am in such a crazy, but great mood!  Well, let me let you in on this little arcanum! :)  Me and Kayla kinda pulled an all-nighter last night!  It is my third one of my whole life!  I have always taken a little cat nap, but I didn't today!  And I feel sooooo CRAAAAZZZZZYY!!! and wee bit disoriented! :P  What ta do, what ta do?  Sleep?????  Well, okay... but not for too long!  I have my last class today at 4:30!  Then, a Math test and I just might be DONE! :)  Oh shoot! Ahhhh! Look at all the jealous people (reference to the Beatles song "Eleanor Rigby" minus the lonely from the phrase and put in jealous...... kinda has a ring to it aye??)  I just had this urge to listen to that song, and I found a Dubstep Remix, SAY WHHAAAA!!!?? :) It was pretty cool to listen to, to be honest! :)  

Knock, knock.

  -Who's there?

Cows say.

  -Cows say who?

No silly, cows say moo!                

:)               

   

FUNNIES                                      :)

 Knock, knock.

  -Who's there?

Owls say.

  -Owls say who?

Yep.

 Knock, knock.

  -Who's there?

Little old lady.

  -Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!

Hint: How to be obnoxious when someones phone is ringing! :)

:). Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Yourself.
- Yourself who?
Your cell phone's ringing you better answer it.

Well everyone! I hope you all enjoyed reading, are all having a spectacular day, and keepin' it real! (Which you are all great so I know you are!! DUH!)  :)  Love you all! <3

Tauni Ackerman :)

That's Life! :)

I love my life!  I mean, I could leave it at that, but that would be unfair to all of you! :P  Haha!  :)  I am in such a great mood!  I just love this school, the people on this campus, the Gospel!  I just can't get enough of it! I just love it all!  Today, I walked to school and made a plethora of new friends just walking to class! :)  I had fun! I have been running a lot and I have lost quite a bit of weight and I feel sooooo great! :)  I don't even know how to express it.   I am just sooooo happy!  I just got back inside from playing in the rain with Kayla, Emily, Aaron, Rachael! :)  We even ran into Lane and Megan! :)  Yaahhhh trick yahhhh!! :)  It was raining really hard and I was just smiling and so happy!  I think it is so funny how much happier I am after it rains! :)  I am always sooooo happy afterwards, during, and even when you smell it coming :) I love the rain!  It just makes me feel so refreshed, clean, and man... just happy! :) When you are doing the right things, nothing else tends to matter.  I don't have a boyfriend?  No matter!  I freaking love it!  This little life of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! :)  I don't really have a plan for next semester?  Ain't no thawng!  I know the Lord knows what I am supposed to do, and I am living on faith right now, there isn't really much else I can do! :)  I have been having the best few weeks!  Ever since I went to Utah for my family reunion, I feel more like myself again then I ever have in my life! :)  Like serious! I have been insanely happy and nothing can get me down!  Until yesterday when I got some sickness when I couldn't keep ANYTHING down!  It was terrible!  I put on a good face for the day tho!  Yesterday was a FABULOUS day! :)  Okay, I will start at the beginning of this weekend! :)  This Friday, I went down to Shelley and went to my best friends, Katelyn Ovard's, bridal shower and it was sooooo much fun! :) I just love her and her fiance and her family!  I think I could even claim them as my second family! Or third, since Kayla's is in there too! :P  Haha! :)  But, I went there and looked around her house and her backyard where the reception will be!  OH MY GOSH!  It is freaking GORGEOUS!!!  I am really bummed I can't go to her wedding.... :(  But hey!  It's gonna be okay!  We are going to be such great friends anyways! :)  I hung out with her at her house and I went on a run!  Man, I miss running out in the country!  I never was really into running or anything, but it just reminds me of over that one Spud Harvest when me and Julie went jogging every night around the country block and we would haffta run far enough to run past Luke's house! :)  Man, hahhaha!  That  was so much fun! But, after I got back from my run, it started POURING RAIN!!!  As I was running down a hill to get a banner, I slid down the hill, like my own personal slip and slide :P  haha!  It hurt really bad, but it was tons of fun! :)  Haha! :)  Then, on Saturday, I came back up to Rexburg to donate plasma and stuff and then I had to run up to Island Park on an errand for my momma!  It was pretty fun driving with  my Christian Rock blastin' ;)!  It was great! :)  Then, when we got back we headed to Utah! :)  We got to go see my grandparents before they left!  Which they left today! :)  To West Virginia! They are going to the all famous "We Are Marshall" school! :)  To take over the institute program! YEAH YEAH! :)  I am so blessed to have them in my life! :)  They are soooooo great! :)  We had fun, ate pie and turned around and came home!  I got back to Rexburg around 3:30 AM!  YAYY!  :D  I was super tired!  I then woke up the next morning, and I got up and got all prettied up for the fabulous Sunday and then I started feeling super crumby! But, I still pushed forward! :)  I finally went to Stake Conference, which was phenomenal! :)  Then, me, Kayla, Megan, and Jake (Megan's Boy), headed down to Shelley! :)  We got there with about 30 minutes to spare, so we explored Shelley, which of course only took a few minutes to see the main attractions ;)  It was great!  Then we went to Brooks Browning's Homecoming!  Geewallacurrs!  During that entire meeting, I felt the spirit SOOO strong! First, little miss Archibald gave a talk about sharing your light even though we aren't on missions!  FREAK!  :)  I loved it soooo much!  She was this cute girl and just talked about how we all can't serve missions and share the Gospel on other continents, but we CAN share our lights right here, right where we are! :)  I love that!  It reminds me of the quote I heard in RS about a month ago, "you might not be able to change the world, but you can change SOMEONE'S world."
:)  True Doctrine my friends! :)  Then, Brooks got up to talk!  Wowzzaarrss!  He talked about his mission, but of course, and also talked about something he learned on his mission, FLOW, Faith, Love, Obedience, and Work!  But he mostly talked about Obedience and Work, but substituted Work for Sacrifice!  Wow!  What a great testimony of Sacrifice and Obedience!  I really just loved hearing the missionary stories, as I always do, and also just hearing him bear witness of the work at hand that honestly, we can all participate in and just love the Gospel by sharing it!  :)
Then, one of the high counsel men got up to speak and he talked a lot about missionary work as well, (go figure, right) ;)  But it was a great talk about just loving the Gospel and sharing with the people around us! :) It was a great sacrament meeting that I wouldn't have missed for the world! :)  Afterwards, I went home to be with the fam for a bit then I headed over to Kayla's.  We went to her home teachers tree house, which TOTALLY reminded me of Swiss Family Robinson tree house! :) It was LEGIT! :)  Hahaha! :)  Then I went and slept some sickness off at Kayla's house and then we went to Brownings house with some brownies :P  clever right?? :)  Haha! :)  It was really fun!  We finally got home after riding home with Elise and it was sooooo great! :) I just love my life! :)  It is so great! I am getting ready for my trip and it is going to be life changing! :)  I am SOOOOOOOOOOO excited! :)
Peace out Peeps! :)
Tauni Ackerman

Life is better when the Sun is shining... But you gotta love the Rain! :) I do!

Mmmm. Well, first off I should apologize for not writing for a while!  I've had to divert to my journal for a few weeks because of some really trying things I have gone through and I didn't thing you all really wanted to hear me ramble on and on.  I think that I am happy.  :)  But, how do you get to the point of knowing??  I was really thinking yesterday!  A couple Sunday's ago was Fathers' Day, I called my Papa and my dad!  :)  I really liked talking to my Papa for one.  We talked about how I have really been through a lot as a teenager.  My parents were rough on me, but that is common among the oldest child.  I learned a lot from being the oldest and I felt like I had to grow up pretty fast but its okay!  I wouldn't be the person I am without all the things I went through.  I then talked to my Dad for some time.  We talked about a lot of things and he talked for a while then, I felt impressed to talk to him about his marriage and how it has affected me.  Wow!  That was extremely hard to put all my feelings out on a limb, but I feel like he has progressed since I talked to him.  About a week ago, I had a really long conversation with my mom and there were a lot of tears from both of us.  We are both just struggling with things that it is really hard to talk to anyone about it.  But I feel like she is becoming my best friend more and more every day!  We of course have our rough patches but it is a TON better than what it used to be!  

I have had listened to many songs in the past few days that have just made me kinda teary-eyed.  I have just felt so alone and I just don't know how to conquer it! But, in the last few days I have seen the light!  Reading some books for my trip has really helped me!  I even think I am going to invest in the book called, "Forgiving Myself."  I heard it is really great! and i think it would help me a lot on how to get through all this! 

It's hard to think that I felt so happy one day, then another day I feel lonely and sad.  I have been trying to do the things my bishop has suggested.  Going to the temple, avoiding situations that will allow me to fall into old habits, and only associating with people that make me happy and to help myself feel better.  I feel silly that all of these events this semester is affecting me so much.  I know that everyone said that I am doing fairly well for everything that I am going through, I swear though, its just never ending.  I am continually trying to find things to do to stay active and upbeat but I still feel that wrenching feeling in my heart.  I am slowly becoming a fake happy to everyone else.  How in the world are you supposed to be happy when you feel so much pain, so much rejection, so much stress??  I have always lived my life so that I can laugh and be happy!  I have been trying to make myself feel and look better!  I just barely got back from the temple and it was SOOOO great! :)  It refreshened me.  I read like 6 chapters in the Book of Mormon and it made me feel really great!  Yet, as I walked away, I felt the spirit so strong but I still couldn't shake the feeling.... Why does that happen?  I keep praying to have peace and to know that I am going to be okay and I will get better, but how do I possibly know that?  I have lived 19 years of life and I still just don't know what to do to make me truly happy.

The Fourth of July was super fun and great! :)  I spent most of it in the sunshine reading my book! :)  It was great fun!  I just love the fourth of July! :)  I think the fireworks and just the reason of celebrating is my favoritest part!  The Fireworks are just sooooooo beautiful!  Loud, but Beautiful!!! :)

Then yesterday, it rained!  It was the first real smile I have really had all day!  I just love the rain!  It for some reason makes me feel so happy!  I just love to go out and stand in it and flash my smile to the sky, even twirl around in it a little bit! :)  Man!  I just can't fathom my life without rain.  Does that sound silly???  PPSssshhhaaaawww! I don't care :P  Haha! :)  If I can help it, I just might be a hopeless romantic, but I really REALLY want my first kiss in the rain! :)  I think it is just so cute!  And I honestly have NEVER had something that makes me happier then the rain!  That and the temple, and...... okay.... there are a lot of things.  My Bishop encouraged me to list things that make me happy!  Maybe I'll share some of those with you!

Now don't snicker :)  Just enjoy! :)  (Haha, did that have a kinda cheesey turnaround to Snickers??? ;) Mayyybeee :D )

- Rain (Duh!)

- The Temple

- The Gospel

- Prayer

- The Scriptures

- Sunrises/ Sunsets

- The Stars

- Walks

- Music

- Playing the piano

- Baking

- Hanging out with my friends

- Reading

- Hiking

- Biking

- going on joy rides 

- serving

- Outdoor things (swimming, picnics, exploring, four-wheeling, snowmobiling..Etc.)

- seeing and hanging out with family

- Letters

- cuddling

- just spending time with people I love

- learning about new things

- Sharing what I know, testimony

- Making other people smile :) :)

- Being funny and silly at times

- watching old movies 

- Running

- listening and being a friend

:)  I think that is about enough of that!  Haha!  Man!  I just love, love, LOVE being nice and finding ways to help everyone around me feel happy and enjoy their lives! :)  I just get this sensational thrill from serving and loving people!  :)  Man!  Yesterday, I went for a run in the rain!  I went on listening to my uplifting music with the biggest grin on my face!  I even had a guy say, "Well, aren't you just happy to exercise!"  Hehe, it made me giggle! :)  Yesterday and this last weekend, I felt myself pulling out of the sadness and finally just being happy again! :)  It feels so great, just to smile at life and know that God has a plan for me.  Even if I don't really know what it is yet, I know I am doing my part to be able to know when it comes along!  I feel myself becoming stronger, happier, braver, healthier, more loving and caring, more positive and optimistic! I just can't even imagine myself in a year from now, if I keep going at this rate! :)  I just might need to eat some ice cream now and then to keep me from being twinkled ;)  haha!  Just kidding!  But, really, I feel like I am improving so much, and my testimony is growing SOOO much!  I just have this sense of meaning and purpose that I have never felt before and I love it! :)  I hope that I can change people's life for the better one person at a time! :)  

I am going to continue to prepare for whatever the Lord has prepared for me! :) I have just realized that I just need to take a breather and take time for the important things.

Take time to work, with love, it is the assurance of success, take time for joyous play, it is the secret to renewing youth, take time to think creatively, it is the foundation of wisdom.

Take time to love your fellow men, it is the gateway to heaven, take time each day for silence, It is the storehouse of God, take time to worship God, it is the highway to peace! :)   Wish me luck!  Kayla and I have talks to give on Sunday!  AWWWWWWWWWWMMAAANNNNNN! :P  haha!!!  I dunno about Kayla, but I NEED it! ;)  haha! :)  Yaya! :)  Well, Peace out!

Tauni Ackerman

A Little Problem Sees Tender Mercies :)

Man.  This week has been a Zinger! :P  I started watching a new series called 'Touch.'  It's amazing! :)  Like honestly!  It is about this 11 year old boy and his father.  The boy, Jake is mute and he doesn't talk, but only because he chooses not to.  I mean, he has NEVER said a word in his whole life!  INSANE!!!!  It is the first time I have really felt the emotions of a show!  I literally feel so great after watching each episode!  Folks, there are wholesome shows out there! :)  It is so great and showing how people are connected to each other! I have seriously never felt so much emotion in so long then I have in these last few weeks!  Senior year, I decided, I was too emotional, crying about every day about the littlest things but I felt every little thing with every part of me!  But, I was sick of people seeing me as an excessive emotional person.  So, for about 6 to 7 months, I didn't cry at all.  I know, it's pretty insane.  But I did it.  Why?  What did it teach me?  It taught me patience, it taught me understanding of things, it taught me that I can be a leader, an example, a great over-all person.  How, you ask? I learned through persistence and learning to control my emotions, taught me more than I can even express.  But something that I must admit, I still haven't recovered.  I feel like I can't cry, I can't feel, I can express with full intent like I did.  I know its somewhere in there, I know I can be a wholesome person and not be over the top, I just need to find it!  I feel like I can't really be emotionally attached to anything, anyone.  How can I find the balance I need?  I decided that I am going to start a new life!  I am going to start with a new slate, get these feelings off my chest!  :)  I have decided that I need to be better, I need to be more positive!  I need to feel peace in my life, the last few weeks I felt peace in the beginning but for the last month, I started feeling this feeling like something in my life needed fixing!  It kinda sucked the timing of re-evaluating, but it was necessary and I realize that now!  I am so grateful for the Gospel because I know I wouldn't be the person I am, stand for the things I stand for, know the people I know, see my life and have hope for better things when things go wrong.  I just can't imagine where I would be! :)  I am really excited to see where my life will lead.  It starts on Sunday!  I just need to get to 2:30 on Sunday and I am hoping and praying my life will take a dramatic turn for the better!  I really do!  I want to stop being scared, I want to stop being sad, and lonely, I want to feel peace and love and hope that I am really here for a reason, that I have a purpose, that I will get rewarded for the things I do.
I have been trying so hard for the past few days to really look for people that need lifting, that need service, that need a friend.  I have been feeling sooooo much better about myself, about my sense of life and purpose.  I mean, today, I walked past an elderly lady while on my jog and I asked her if she needed help carrying her groceries, she stopped smiled, gave me a hug and said, you will do great things and kept walking.  Oh my word! I just fathom at the people around me that can just perceive people, it wasn't until I came up here that I realized what person I really hope to be!  I couldn't become the person I am, or want to become, without the life choices I have made to this very point.  Why, you ask, am I sitting here every day trying to become better, feeling unnoticed and feeling insignificant?  To tell you the truth, I don't know.  I am searching, I am praying for the answer to that question every day!  I want something marvelous, I want to feel assurance that I am bigger than a speck of dirt!  And to tell you what my friends, I got a glimpse.  Just a glimpse, of what it is like to have someone be your world, to be the best thing, to be an answer to your prayers.  With a glimpse, I can look forward to the future and know something great awaits me, and I need to be ready when it comes.  So, I am physically, mentally preparing myself.  I am getting back on the path of spirituality that I need to be on.  I am reconnecting with the emotions inside of me so that I can really show the people around me how much I deeply care.  How can life be so difficult when it seems so easy?  Well, of you ever get the answer to that question, write a book and tell the world :)  You are all so great!  I wish I could list the people that have changed my life, made it worth living, made me better, made me feel, made me smile, helped me along my journey!  You are all my angels in disguise!  You might have been in my life for a split second, for a few weeks, a few months, years, eternity......  You are all great and have made an impact! :)  I could live another lifetime to meet you ALL again.  I would too! :)  How can I ever thank you all??  Oh, I know!!  I'll become famous and have a long speech of people that I can thank.... NAAHHH! :)  I think if I just keep trying to progress, stay happy, and search for opportunities to serve, I will see you all on the other side and I hope you will be there to greet me! :)  You are all amazing human beings!  Like honestly and truly! :)  Stay true to yourself, and true to your friends, and true to your God! :)  Remember who you are, which is beautiful Daughters and handsome Sons of our dear Heavenly Father!  He wants you to succeed, He wants your happiness.  Never sell yourself short and think you deserve less than the best! :)  I know its hard, I know its trying, I KNOW its gonna be rough.  But, have faith, oh ye little children, HAVE FAITH!   Trust that God will get you through!  Sometimes, thats the only hope in the world and it sucks to think that you have to go through the stuff you do, but it all has a divine purpose, it all has a significant impact on the outcome of your life.  You can make it through with the Lord on your side!  And, what more can you ask for than for the Man that already helped us win one battle! :)  Stay strong and BELIEVE!  Have patience that things will work out!  Have the hope that the sun will rise, and life will go on!  You never know when someone is in need of your strength, your testimony, your smile, your friendship.... you just haffta be ready my friends :)  And the Lord can help you there! :)  Keep it real and be who you are, become what you want to be! :)  Decide for yourself today, who that is, who is that person you are looking in the mirror at!  You can do, achieve, be who you want to be and don't let anyone tell you different! :)  I love serving my mission of life and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me!  I love you guys sooooo much and I hope you all feel His love, His peace, His tender mercies in your life and you can seek to reach out to EVERYONE around you! :)  The Church is true, and I love you! :)
Tauni Ackerman :D      

WTFAIL!!! :)

Hehehe!  Wow! This Facebook strike is seriously killing me :P  It's kinda sad!  I have only done it for one day! :P  I just wanna post and post and post!  I totally gave this girl a compliment on her cardigan today.... turns out..... she had ear phones in... Awkward! These things tend to happen to me a lot :P hehehe! So, I have decided "like" needs to be taken out of my vocabulary!  It's ridiculous how much I say it! hahaha! :P  But yeah.  Today was SUCH A GREAT day! :)  Man!  I can't even explain it!  I have officially decided on a music major.  Oh man!  I decided and I was just reconfirmed today of just how happy it makes me! :)  After my piano teaching class, I was just sitting on the piano playing around with just chords and hymns and, yeah some people came in and were just like, WOW!  You are really good!  ARe you just making that up as you go?  I said, yes! :)  Haha! :)  I just love sharing my talent with people and it just makes me feel soooooo great! :)  I don't know why I didn't go into it in the first place!  It makes me soooooooo happy! :)  But yeah.  My grades are improving marvelously and I am just seriously rockin' the social life of mine too! :)  I don't know what made the difference, but I have been loving this semester already! :)  I am kinda sad its halfway over :(  But, no worries! :)  I love my classes and I CAN'T WAIT to really jump into music! :)  AWWWWWW MAAAANNN!!!! :)  I just want to Jump Around, Jump Around! :)  Hahaha! :)  I am soooo happy!  :)  I mean, I am really dealing with some sucky things, and it still hurts but, I have always been a person to rise above and learn from the sticky messes I go through, cry about it for two seconds, then figure out what I can do next to enjoy my life and be happy!  :)  This weekend, I am going to my grandparents farewell!  OH MY GOODNESS!!! I am really excited! :)  I am going to hike Mount Tipanogos EEEKKKK GAADSSS!! :)  I am soooo excited! :)  I hear the cave is BEAUTIFUL! :)  Man, I really just love doing outdoor things so much!  I mean, for FHE tonight, we went to Beaver Dick Park and it was SOOOOOO much fun!  :)  I love my FHE family! :)  They are sooooo much fun! :)  Me and Kayla rode in the back of Russell's car and just had a blast!  Right as we got there, we jumped into the river! :)  It felt sooooo nice! :)  I just love doing crazy things!  Not like immature crazy but just the things that are so much fun that everyone is such pansies to do! :P  Haha! But yeah and we just swam around and saw a deer, tried to sink a dock, then after a while we decided we were hungry and went on a drive around some fun dirt roads while me and Kayla played "Would you Rather".  It was sooooo much fun!  Then we went back to our FHE brothers apartment and had hot dogs!  :)  It was soooo great! They are so crazy fun to hang out with!  But yeah!  Then me and Kayla headed back to our apartment and luckily I have been working slowly on all my homework and I should be done by Wednesday with Homework 'til next Monday so I can enjoy my weekend with my family! :)  It will be interesting to see my family!  Don't get me wrong, I am super stoaked!  But they tend to be super nosey at times and just... stressful! If you feel me, feel free to text me to keep me sane ;)  Haha! :)  I love my family!  They are soooo great! :)  I can't wait to see everyone! :)  Well.... Tomorrow, I start my Marriage Skills class!  Awkward :P  Haha! :)  It will be fun! :)  I am super excited, with a little bit of nervousness thrown in there :P  haha! :)  YAy! :D  Well peeps!  It is my bed time so I wish you all well and SMILE SMILE SMILE! :)  Make the world wonder why you are still smiling :) Today I figured my choir teacher is out to get me! She picked two songs that make me cry every time for devo and our concert!  Thank you! :P  "I Stand All Amazed"  and "Amazing Grace".  I freaking love these songs!  They just make me feel the spirit soooo strong and it just reminds me of how amazing Christ is and this church and really opens my heart to all the beauty around me :) I heard one of my new favoritest quotes Sunday from my Relief Society Prez.  "You maybe can't change the world, but you can change SOMEBODY'S world!" :)
Love you guys! :)
Tauni Ackerman

*Whistle* What a weekend!? :)

So.. to start off this weekend.. I went to my choir concert.... And.. It was a BLAST! :)  haha!  I am pretty sure I hardly remember talking when I went up to the microphone but I tried to speak slow and exciting like... I hope it worked :P  Haha!  Everyone in my class thinks I am so funny! Haha!  I think I have become funnier in the last week cause making jokes makes me feel better, even when no one laughs..(But not gonna lie, they usually do, even out of pity ;) pity laugh!) Haha! But yeah, was really great especially at the rehearsal the night before, I was in a SUPER crazy mood! :P  So, I decided that I would just keep these jokes rollin', and what did it get me?? A speaking part!  Never be funny!  BEAT THE TEMPTATION! REEESSSIIISSSTTTT!!! :P  Hahahaha! :)  It was pretty great!  I was saying little comments to my neighbors when the teacher said, "Tauni!  Can you read the next one?  You are just so funny and you would be perfect!"  I didn't even volunteer!  :P  Haha! So, I went up there and the Mic wasn't on, so I just started saying it and, BAMB! <--- that looks like Bambi on Steroids :P  Haha! but yeah then the mic came on, and DANG!  It threw me for a loop!  Haha!  I started yelling out profanity, ya know me, just a potty mouth ;)  HA!  Gotcha! :P  REally?!  You believed me... >:/ :) Jk! Not really!  I actually just jumped a lot a bit and put some ad lip and told a joke and I'm pretty sure I am still the choir class clown..  I just can't grow out of it :P  Haha! :)  but yeah then, after we sang our insane Gospel-like musica I decided that I was super tired... which makes these joking manners worse... oh dear... So you will never guess what happened next?!  My teacher starts saying that everyone needs more energy, I swear Tauni is the only one having any fun up there.  Then I raise my hand and I say, well if you all need more energy, I have a secret.. I should have stopped while I was ahead.... As everyone goes quiet, as if they know this ought to be good, I say, I just pretend to flirt with the conductor and it makes things TONS more fun! As the conductor blushes and everyone starts laughing, the piano player says, you can flirt with me, I'm single!  Hahaha!  Man, it was hilarious, and did I play around with that comment make by that dear piano player, I just said, if we just turned the piano a bit, it would be perfect! Hehe!  Made him blush too!  SCORE! :P  Haha! :)  I even told him afterwards I loved his wicked piano playing skills!  Hahaha! Then I went home and just, simmered down!  I was soooo hyper!  It wasn't even like normal hyper, I just wanted to go talk to people and make jokes! :P  Ya know, when you're on a roll, you just don't wanna stop... well, technically you can't cuz you're rollin but hey, you haffta hit the end of the hill eventually right?!  Haha! :)  Well, I went to my concert Friday after a FREAKING SPECTACULAR day!  And, I went to the concert super excited, nervous, crazy tired, and looking forward for a weekend of AWESOMENESS!!  Well, I went to the concert and I felt pretty great, but then this kinda sadness sank in for some reason.  I felt like, wow, I have no body to go talk to about these concerts and have them laugh at the funnies I thought about, the amazing things I felt during certain songs, then it started make me really miss my missionary boys, and then just to make it better, I saw a couple in front of me talking about the concert and just sitting there just laughing, holding hands, giggling, and it made my heart kind of sink a little bit, then I just heard as I was passing, you are my bestest friend, you know that?  Oh man!  I lost it! I just miss having a best friend that I can hug and laugh with!  I mean, I have plenty of girl friends, but, guy friends, they are just so much better.  I just don't know how to explain it.  How can I express that with most boys I come in contact with, I am merely playing with the flirting because its fun, but in reality, I just enjoy the company and the friendship?  I have never been able to do that!  Hurrummmphh!!  Haha!  Whatevs, you live, you learn.  :)  But then, I came home, bought some pizza with only quarters, and got on the road to a camping trip! :)  WOOT! :)  I went with Kate, Jared, and some of their couplily peeps.  Oh yeah, if you could imagine how I would just (WARNING: about to be sarcastic :P) LOVE that weekend of cuddling, kissing, sappy cuteness.  (okay, sarcasm rant over.)  But, in reality.  I really enjoyed it and I made some really great friends!  :)  They were all so great and gave me plenty of advice on relationships.  I think I needed that weekend, to just see the success of relationships, and they are not all set up for failure!  :)  I was soooo happy! :)  Like, I did wish I had someone there to hold my hand, to tell secrets to, to laugh with and hug! But, you know, it didn't even phase me until I got back that, really, my time, my guy, my happiness that comes with it all, WILL COME! :)  I am promised! :)  Man, I can't wait for that day.............. :D  Sorry, I had a bit of a grin attack! :)  Well, this weekend I also enjoyed FOUR-WHEELING! :) Oh man!  I freaking love outdoorsy stuff!  OH MY WORD! And funny that happened!  I told Kate and Jared about my funny I pulled in choir and... they said wait, what's the piano players name?  I said, Tyler, I think.  WHAT!?  They totally know him and are setting me up on a blind date! :)  EEEKKKKKK GAADDDSSS!!! :)  But, he isn't actually blind.  So no worries ;) Hahaha!  I just figured I need to stay busy to really just deal with everything right now and just keep the jokes coming and save the emotions for the pillow!  :)  So far, it has been great! :) I got home at 11:30 this morning, almost afternoon, and I made it to 1 o'clock church and man.  This church is so great!  I walked into my Relief Society Lesson a little late after I took the sacrament and they were walking about the Love of the Savior through all things.  It tends to happen after hard things happen, and when I go into nature, I seem to have a better appreciation for all the things, people, and love around me.  I started to cry, at first I thought it was because I really was sad and wanted to hear that someone out there loves me, but then I felt this burning inside my entire being that everything is going to be alright.  God has sooooo much in mind and in store for me!  I don't know what, but if I am doing what I can, he will help me restore my happiness to the fullest and will guide me in the direction I need to go! :)  Without this Gospel, I would be SCREWED! Is that allowed to be said? All well.  Haha! :)  But, I love it so much you guys! I wish I could even express the gratitude in my heart, in my mind!  I wish I could express how much God loves EVERY SINGLE person!  No matter their faults, no matter their sins, no matter their actions.  I surely know I don't deserve such love from a Father so perfect and glorious, but that is what I need to do.  Is show everyone that they are worth sooooo much and they deserve the best! I know God loves me!  I am a daughter of God and I am soooooooooo excited to start my new mission of making EVERYONE I meet happy and feel loved as they walk away from me! :)  I can't say I am the happiest girl alive quite yet..... but I am getting there! :)  I ended today by reading my scriptures and listening to my feel better Pandora station "Michael Buble" with a variety of Gene Kelly, Frank Sanatra, Nat King Cole, and Ella Fitzgerald :) Keep your chins up my friends!  Keep smiling and doing what is right! <3 Love Love you all! :)  I also found my newest favoritest song called "Closer" by Shawn McDonald! :)  SOOOOOOOO GREAT! :) Check it out! :)  Peace out Brothas and Sistas :D
Tauni Ackerman

Oh My Word! :) What A Life I Be Livin'!!! :D

Oh my word!! :)  I don't think I have ever, EVER had so many crazy things happen in just one week! :P  I am in SUCH a great mood and I can't even fathom how happy I am right now! :)  I started off the week with being pretty sick on Tuesday.  But on Wednesday, I fasted, and went to the temple and all that... WOW!  Did it change my life!?  I have SUCH a huge testimony of the power of prayer, fasting, and temple work!  It literally made my whole week right side up! :)  I have not been able to wipe this smile off my face! :) :D  I think it just got bigger ;)  hahaha! :)  Well, on Tuesday, as I was bed-riden, I wrote Elder Brooks Browning and Elder White (His companion) :P  They are sooooo hilarious! They wrote me on a Green Eggs and Ham card which made me just die!  :P  Hahaha! :)  They won our card battle, first with the dog card, then the cat card, then that.. Man!  I could have kept it going.. But haha! Whatevs.  I am Broke!!! :P  I just paid off my rent today!  And it was insane that I had all I needed! :)  I have been doing so well in my classes.  Like since the beginning of this week, I think I have been happier then I have ever been.  I think it is probably just knowing how much people care for me, and also, how much the Lord really is looking out for me! :)  Man!  I am sooooo blessed!  Just walking around campus, I couldn't help but smile at the beauty around me! :)  It smelt so nice tooo! :)  Haha!  I love the smell of the grass, the flowers, the trees, even the water, and the smell of just nature!  It is my favoritest smell in the world! :)  Without all these mountains, gorgeous trees, glorious sunshine, even when it rains or snows, or is just blasted windy... I just smile and know how blessed I am to be were I am, to be surrounded by such beauty of the Gospel, of people, of the school, of the temple and just amazing things happen every single day and ... man, Life would SERIOUSLY suck if I didn't seek one out every day! I love my friends!  They are all so amazing and supportive and loving!  It kills me!  :)  I just am soooo blessed in soooo many aspects of my life! :)  I have decided to go with a Music Major!  I know, I know!  Don't keel over with excitement! :P  I know I am!   AWWWW!!! :)  I just am so excited to dive into the work! :P  Did that just sound mission related>?! Say whaaaa!???  Right now, I am really amazed by the people that just enjoy my company.  It really boosts my self esteem!  :)  I have never really felt the spirit of just soooo much goodness around me in my life!  I think God sent me eyes this semester!  Seriously!  I have been able to understand and realize soooo many things! I have gotten the answers to prayers almost daily and I have NEVER even realized how great this Gospel is!  I guess when he says I am blessed with discernment and the knowledge of things in the future... This is how it feels!  Seriously, last semester I would have died with the things that I have gone through this semester!  I was just so ready for the things, and I didn't even realize it until my fast on Wednesday!  When I fasted and did temple work.... I felt the spirit soooo strong!  More than I ever have in my entire life!  I knew that things happen for a reason.  I finally understood why I have just had to deal with certain types of people in my life, I realized why I waited soooo long to get into a relationship, I realized why I am here at BYU-Idaho, at least for now!  I realized, I love my family and my friends... and honestly everyone I come in contact with because... They deserved to be loved as much as I deserve to be loved.  When you think about it....  How inadequate are we to our Heavenly Fathers and Saviors love?  I realized that I have been taken sooo many things, so many people, so many opportunities for less than what they are truly worth.  Our Savior, Jesus Christ, died on the cross, suffered for my sins.... just as much for me as anyone else.  Who am I to judge, to hate, to criticize?  I feel so insignificant and small  when I think about it.  But in the eyes of our Savior.. Our Father in Heaven, we are huge!  We are significant!  We are chosen!  We are Larger than Life :P (Backstreet Boys! Holla!) :)  I mean, we have soooo much potential, so much to live for.  We are just throwing it away by gossiping, snickering, back-biting, hating, judging, even to the point that we don't read our scriptures, we don't pray, we don't fulfill our callings, we don't reach out to others and show our Saviors love to them! Who am I to do such things?  If our Master, Redeemer, Lord, Savior, Christ, Brother gave all these things to me, Scriptures, music, beauty, friends, family, an education, a home, food, hope, a prophet, a testimony, a smile, a light, a voice, talents.....  Why not share and enjoy them?  I love my life!  I love my Savior!  I love my Family and I love this Gospel!  :)  Life doesn't get much better if you are looking and always striving for the best! :)  I vow, right now (haha that rhymed :P) that I am going to smile!  I am going to meet new friends!  I am going to read my scriptures and prepare for whatever lies ahead!  I am going to be nice and loving to EVERY person!  No matter how they did me wrong.  I need to work on being more Christ-Like and loving!  I really have been trying so hard this week and it has made the world of difference in how I feel and how I treat and think of myself.  It might sound silly, but... there is a whole lot in truth in how you treat others how you want to be treated! It helps so much!  And the cool thing about it is, it wasn't too hard to fall into a routine and to really just be myself and love what I have been given!  Sometimes its hard to remember what I used to be... How I used to be!  and sometimes I feel like I am almost that person again when I hit my low points.... but Heavenly Father and the Savior have always been by my side and its not until now that I have let them take on some of my load and just feel weightless in my doings and feeling just so amazed and loved by every single person I meet! :)  Life is great! I hope you all can come to terms with whatever you are going through and feel the joy and happiness to the FULLEST EXTENT! :)  It's phenomenal! :)  Come join the party!  Let's all be friends and love one another.... and.. lastly, World Peace!............ HAHAHA! Jk! but seriously..... :)  Haha! :)  Love you all!  And I hope that by reading this you might be inspired and feel your Saviors love! :)  Keep your heads up, don't forget who you are!  And DON'T FORGET TO SMILE :D  Nice and big just so even people in China can see! :)  Yeah! Latter-Day Saint Pride!  Fist Pump in the Air! :)  Yeeeeeahhhh Buddy! :) <3
Tauni Ackerman~

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Well... When I hear that phrase, I believe it full heartedly and I am not gonna lie, it kinda sucks a little bit. But hey!  It's okay!  You live, you learn!  I am just soooooo very grateful for this gospel and for my amazing family! :)  Yesterday, I went on a date with Lane.  We had a blast and I just can't get over how great he is!  I wish he could see it!  :)  But yeah, we talked a lot about lots.  We almost kissed yesterday...  I felt like I wasn't ready for him to kiss me.  Can I just say, it amazing how true it is that I can see things in the beginning how they will affect me and how things will turn out.  I saw this from the beginning.  I talked to my mom the day before me and Lane got together, I told her that I just felt kind of confused of how in two weeks we could just change statuses like that.  I talked to her about how I didn't see it really going all the way or anything but that I felt that I could learn something from the relationship.  I guess it was a mutual feeling.  Man, I just felt like I just needed to throw myself into the relationship and just be his friend.  I am so glad I met him this semester!  I can see him being a HUGE impact on my life!  We talked yesterday and decided we are just going to be friends.  Which, I honestly could say, through me off guard for about a second but after I prayed for peace and comfort... It felt right!  We talked and I just asked him to tell me what happened.  He said when we were in the Gardens for our date, he felt like he wasn't being fair to me.  He had felt like he went into this to show me that people can really care for me more than friends and to keep my chin up! :)  I really.... Wow!  Okay, well when I asked God to help me know that I could feel loved and have someone, even a friend, just let me know that I am loved at the end of last semester.... Wow!  I can just say, even in a breakup, my prayers were being answered!  How can I not believe this gospel with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEInG?!?  Man.  How many times can one person be the answer to my prayers?  Like seriously!?  God knows me all too well :)  I feel at peace.  I feel happy.  I feel loved.  I feel... amazed.  I still love Lane every little bit.  But its not the love that I can say is romantic.  I can say that I love him as a Best Friend, as an Older Brother. :)  I can always turn to him.  He is still my best friend.  I have no idea how I can express to him there are NO HARD FEELINGS!  :)  If anything I respect him and care for him more to show me that people can care and that he can be my friend no matter what!  I want to be there for him and him there for me!  :)  Lane Allen Deines, you are one of the most amazing people I know.  No one has ever been so courageous in my eyes to even try to show that they care like you did, and do.  I hope we can always be friends, best and eternal friends.  I know I was supposed to meet you, you need a friend, you need to be reminded daily of your worth and that Christ and Heavenly Father loves you! :)  I am always here for you!  I know that we aren't together anymore, but I can "be that friend that holds your hand and starts to walk". :)  I am always there for you and I will always despite of your feelings, hold you close in my heart as a friend and a GREAT impact on my life!  :)  You have been such a great influence and friend.  And you have proved to me that I can trust you and talk to you about anything! :)  Thank you! :)  When you are ready to be Best Friends again... Let me know and I will welcome you with open arms! :)  I feel like our relationship is worth fighting for! :)
I always felt as I broke up with my first boyfriend, I would feel different.  The heart break lasted for about an hour.  But, when I took the Lord and his tools and put them into play, all I could feel was peace and I know God has great things planned for me!  :)  I can't wait to know exactly what could possibly be better, what could be what I need, but when that day comes.... I JUST CAN'T WAIT! :)  My life has never been perfect but it has always been a blessing through good or bad.  :)  I am SOOOO grateful to have the opportunity to be at this beautiful school and to be playing the game of life!  It definitely is not what we expect most times, but if we stay close to the spirit... We can do ANYTHING!  :)  I am grateful for the people in my life and I am so happy to be me and know what I know.  :)  The Lord wants us to win this battle.  You need friends, family, leaders, apostles, prophets, the Lord, and a testimony... You will make it! :)  I love my life and I love my friends, I love my family, I love this gospel, it is SOOO true! :) And don't you forget it! :)
Love,
A Grateful Happy Girl :D Tauni Ackerman

Oh Man! I have THEE besstest people around me!

So, I am pretty sure that I am the most blessed person in my eyes right now!   The Lord has blessed me sooooo much with such wonderful friends, with a family that loves and supports me, and a boyfriend that I am absolutely crazy about.  :)  How in the world can I be so blessed?!  This past week was really great! Just to start off the week, Monday was pretty insane!  I mean, I went on a walk with Lane and we talked a lot.  I felt kind of confused and I didn't really know what to do and I didn't really know what to think really.  I prayed so much for the next few days to know if, maybe, I am supposed to stay with Lane and if I am supposed to be supporting him.  Ever since he came over to my house and gave me a blessing, I could feel myself falling in love with him.  My first thought was, "No way are you falling in love with him.  You have only been together for almost 2 weeks."  But then I thought something else. I have known Lane since the 19th of April and I am pretty sure I felt a connection the first time we really encountered with one another.  It was like we talked and talked and I felt like I had literally known him forever!  After thinking about all this, my heart felt at peace!  Then on Monday, I had him come over to my house and had him read about this dream I had about him.  It was, in a nutshell, a dream that made me feel sad and discouraged.  In the dream, he told me he couldn't be with me because I deserve better.  Man, it killed me inside! But, after talking to him about it.... WOWWZZAA!!  I felt a ton better and I loved him even more!  He just read my journal entry about it and made me feel better and we just hugged and I felt such relief and peace!  So, then Tuesday... MAN!  It was such a crazy, and busy day!  I had woken up and was getting ready for class and then after class, I came and got ready because I had to sing in Women's Glee for Devotional!  OH MY GOSH!  I was so nervous, I nearly wet myself I am pretty sure! ;P  But yeah!  I also made my man a sandwich. ( Clique I know ;))  Haha!  :)  I just love making him happy and feel loved and important!  I hear people complain all the time about needy companions or boyfriends or girlfriends and wow!  I can't think of anything better than making someone else happy!  It is honestly a challenge but it is kinda like a fun game and blessing to be able to have the opportunity to help someone see themselves the way God sees them!  I just LOVE it! So, after devotional on Tuesday, me and Lane prepared ourselves to meet the FAM!  Whoa!  I can't decide which of us was more nervous!  I wished he would hold my hand on the way down, but the wind disagreed!  The wind was blowing all over the place and he needed to keep both hands on the wheel!  The thing that I love is that when I think something he says something about it that makes me feel better! Like he turned to me and said, "I would hold your hand but I don't want to kill us both."  WHOA!  What the heck?!  Can I say nicely said, brother?  Man.  There are moments we have like that ALL the time!  I love it!  So, we finally got down to Idaho Falls, at Texas Roadhouse to meet, Mom, Dad, NaNa, PaPa, Grandma Ackerman, Kia, Chantelle, Justin, and Alicent.  Dang, I thought I was going to pass out!  Of course, the first thing NaNa asks is, "where did you serve your mission."  Haha!  "Seattle."  He proudly chimed! :)  He met everyone and I could tell he was just as nervous as heck!  But, no worries because by this point we were holding hands and it made me feel so much better!  As I sat there with my family, I just kind of sat there and watched him interact with my siblings answer to the teasing comments from my PaPa and Mom.  I was amazed!  He did soooo well!  As I took him to graduation, I was not as nervous and I was honestly excited to show off my boy and just show people this great man that I have been falling in love with!  It was so great!  I felt like I left him in the dust a little bit but just watching him and having him close by my side....  It was like I know God has my happiness in mind! :) After the night was done, we traveled back to Rexburg!  I felt this new connection with Lane.  I told him some things from my childhood up to a few years ago and I was just amazed at how well I trusted him! But after a while, I found I was so tired, so on the way home, I fell asleep.  After we got back home, I came back to my apartment and cried.  Why you ask?  Because, Lane is just absolutely fabulous and I just didn't know how to show him, and I just was having feelings I didn't think would come so fast.  I was honestly just so scared! I didn't talk to Lane for a few hours.  After a while, Emily came in and helped me by just sending Lane a message.  Lane asked me if I wanted we could take a break so we weren't going so fast.  I wanted to just say, "No!  I just want to be with you more and more, it just scares me."  But I just asked him if he wanted to take a break.  And you know what he said, "No, not at all.  After the car ride home, I want to be with you more." :)  Like I said, he just knows what to say to make me feel loved and just knows me so well.  He then told me about a really cool experience he had in the car. :)  While I was sleeping, having me close, he felt a connection that gave him peace and he said he saw me as God sees me.  Man, I was blown away.  Did I cry again?  Yes.  Something I failed to tell him, or anyone for the fact, is the experience I had while I was sleeping.  I had felt that feeling of peace but as well as acceptance.  As I slept, I had a very special dream that I hold close to my heart!  That dream was so extremely life changing and I never asked Lane, but at a point in my dream, I felt completely aware of my surroundings and I tightened my grip on his hand, never wanting this feeling to go away!  I am glad we both had such an experience! On Thursday, I just felt so on top of the world!  My mom called me and asked me if I was going to go to my cousins graduation on campus.  I went and I was so scared that I was going to come back moody and stuff.  But no. I was fine and I loved it.  It might have had something to do that right beforeI left I ran into Lane and I was SOOO happy to see him!  I think I can't even remember how I lived without him before!  He makes me so happy and just...complete!  Then on that Friday, I felt so great, yet again, and I was thinking I wouldn't be able to see Lane before he left for Utah.  But... After he got done at the temple he called me and asked if I wanted to come over and we could watch the Lion King and hang out!  AWWWWWWEEEESOMEEE! :)  So, of course I did! :)  I went over and we cuddled and after his roommates left, I found we both sat up and just held hands.  I don't know how it is possible to love someone more when you stop cuddling and just hold hands.  I just saw a light and felt this sense of respect and I just continued to gain respect and love for him, as we had decided that we can't cuddle unless other people are around! :)  Pretty close to the end of the movie, his roommates and Rachael Versey and Marlowe came over and they all squished on a couch with me and Lane on the little couch.  So, I moved over onto his lap to make room for others to sit down!  And as we sat there, he was playing with my hair and haha, he found my ticklish spot on the back of my neck.  haha! :)  It was great! I just love it when we are close and just, he knows how to make me feel amazing and loved.  So, we decided to go to Jamba Juice.  After we got our Jambas, we came home and me and him just sat in the back of Rachael's car.  Man, I turned to look at him and his face was so close to mine and I panicked.  I was pretty sure he wanted to kiss me!  So, as we sat there, I almost just snagged a kiss but instead I just rubbed my nose with his and then we went inside!  He told me on the way in, not to think he was a bad boyfriend, he was planning on kissing me but he just didn't want to get me sick. :)  AWWW! :) I am soooo excited but sooooo nervous! I think he is planning something for tomorrow! I don't know what but... I have a feeling I am going to like it! Yesterday, he was down in Utah and I missed him like crazy!  How in the world can I be so deprived of one person for only a day?  Man though, while he was down there, he texted me and asked me questions about where I want to live, and what temple I want to get married in.  I just love this boy!  He just is so perfect for me!  I can say something completely awkward and he would laugh and love me anyways. I wrote him a letter during church and gave it to him after church!  :)  I can't wait when I get to hang out with him again, and hold his hand, make jokes with him.  He is just so great and understands me like no one else! (except Jesus and HF of course.) :D  I love my life and it just keeps getting better! :)
Love you all, and I will keep everyone updated! :)
Tauni Ackerman :)  Lovesick College Girl! <3

Imma Be a Girlyfriend :)

:)  Well.... Let me just let you all know, I am almost at a week of my first relationship and it is absolutely fantastic! :)  My boyfriend... Lane Deines... is ABSOLUTELY adorable! :)  He makes me smile so much!   He is the boyfriend every single girl deserves... still wondering why me, but I am not about to complain! :)    On May 15th, he asked me to be his girlfriend.  Hehehe!  He even was super cute about asking me to hold his hand.  He was kind of scared at first and just said never mind... then a few minutes later he says, Would you be opposed to me holding your hand? :)  I said nope and slapped my hand open on my leg!  Hahaha!  :) I am so freaking awkward! I love it!  but we are just so cute, in my opinion.  Haha! Well, we have been hanging out every single day!  And we also have just been doing all odds and ends together and it just makes me so happy!  I even skyped with his Grandma the other day! :)  She is such a funny lady!  She seems SOOO great! :)  Which doesn't surprise me at all!  :)  I honestly can't fathom how great he is and he is just so strong and amazing!  He constantly is complimenting me and telling me I am amazing!  I was kind of disappointed after we became boyfriend and girlfriend because when we would cuddle or hold hands, I wouldn't feel that... spark, that.... amazing feeling when you like somebody a lot!  I just didn't know really what to think about it!  As I was reading this book called, "How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk" I read that some relationships, you just need to give it time and get to know each other.  Some of the STRONGEST relationships start out as great friendships first! :)  Which I am TOTALLY okay with!  On my list for qualities in my future husband, #1 priority is I want him to be my Best friend before much else!  Which I really like that we didn't jump into a relationship at first and we got to know each other a little bit more! :)  These last few days have been absolutely amazing!  :)  I really like him.  I still don't feel like I have completely fell for him quite yet, but only time can tell!  He is so funny and he loves my jokes and makes me feel so great! such a cutie pie! :)  On Friday, we didn't get to see each other at all!  I had to go to my sisters 'Peter Pan' performance down in Idaho Falls.  Lane let me use his car, which is such fantastically awesome of him!  And I decided to take Kayla along with me! So we went down there and I texted Lane and man, that poor boy!  He said he was so bored and couldn't figure out what he did before we started hanging out! :)  Hehe!  Man, but it was crazy not having him with me!  But, I was SOOO grateful for him letting me use his car, so I washed it for him and made him a little coupon book!  :)  He LOVED it! :)  These are his words, "I have the best girlfriend ever!" :)  Yaya! :)  but yeah so, as you could imagine, we were SOOO excited to hang out on Saturday!  Sadly, I started ;) Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, and my body HATED me!  I had cramps to die for! So what happened was I fell asleep at like 10:30 pm 'til like 1 in the morning!  OH MY GOSH!  I woke up and had thee worst pain of my life! I took tons of medicine and kept heating up the heating pad and tried going back to sleep!  By the time 6 am rolled around, I couldn't take it anymore and I texted Lane and Grant to come and give me a blessing!  Then I thought, what in the world am I going to tell them is wrong?!  Hahaha!  They weren't awake!  So, by 7, I had Kayla run over there and give them a holler to come over!  I was in soooo much pain!  They got over in about 20 minutes.  They looked so concerned.. Especially Lane.  and I was just laying on the couch!  Grant said, "so girly whats up?!"  I said, "well, you know that one thing girls have once a month??  YEAH!  It's kickin' my butt and I have NEVER had this much pain!" haha awkward?  Yes! :) haha!  But they gave me a blessing and I felt soooo much better!  Man, Lane is such a great boyfriend! :)  Well, then he came over and we watched "She's the Man."  Hehe!  :)  It was great!  Then we went to Pizza Pie Cafe and he paid for me!  :)  We held hands and just had a great time together with also, Kayla, Rachael (1 and 2), Megan (1 and 2), and Grant!  Hhahaha! It was so much fun!  Then, he had to go get ready for his concert, since he plays trombone for the schools symphony band!  WHAT A STUD!! :)  He looked so super attractive in his suit and bow tie! :)  I went to the concert and he shot me the biggest grin when I got there! :)  WOOWWWZZAAA!! :)  The concert was SUPER AMAZING! :)  I got to watch my boyfriend play straight on and the music gave me chills! :)  I just love music SOOO much and it was amazing that we can share that love for music together! :)  After the concert was over, I waited for him and we walked home together!  :)  Haha!  He was in SUCH a crazy mood!  :)  He said, this is why I am a music major!  :)  I just loved watching him and how happy it made him and just that light of Christ and absolute love for what he does shine through those beautiful blue eyes of his!  :) he is just so adorable! :)  When we got back to his apartment, I sat there and we were both in pretty great moods and we just sat there holding hands and stuff and it was just so great!  :)  he showed off my coupon book I gave him and he just kept saying things about me being the greatest girlfriend!  GAH!  I am still getting used to it!  It is soooo crazy weird!  :)  But I still like him anyhow and starting yesterday, I actually felt a spark when we held hands... Like the little butterflies... It's coming slowly, but its coming :D :D BIG GRIN! :)  Haha! :)  Then we went to a bonfire! :)  Oh man, it was a blast! :)  I borrowed one of his sweatshirts and it made me feel like those girls in high school that wear their boyfriends letterman jacket! :)  Hehehe! :)  Yeah, we went and held hands on the way !  I have never held hands while driving before ;)  Hahaha! :)  He is so stinkin' cute and we can talk so easily :)  When we got there we put our arms around each other and just cuddled bunches!  :)  It was so much fun! My favorite is when we whispers things to me so no one else can hear!  They are usually hilarious or stuff just about us!  I am kinda worried just because we are both so touchy... But I think we are both cautious enough that we will be okay! :)  We looked at the stars and ate starbursts and cookies!  :)  There was even a cop that came over and we got fined!  DANG IT! :P Haha!  I was full of just sarcastic and snide comments the ENTIRE night!  I felt bad!  Lane was the only one that could hear them and he was just laughing and telling me I was terrible! :)  Haha! :)  It was just so great! He told me that when I came to his concert that his heart started racing when he saw me there and he was just so excited to spend time with me and he was just so happy I am his girlfriend :)  Man!  He is one heck of a guy!  :)  I'm excited to get to know him more and become the bestest of friends! I just might be starting to fall for him already! :)  I love my life!  I never EVER thought I could be as happy as I am right now! :)  And this happiness keeps growing and growing and growing! :)  I love it! :)

Well, my friends, I will catch up withcha later! :D

Tauni Ackerman, aka twitter-patted-girlyfriend! :)

I could have danced all night :)

Well.. This week has pretty much been amazing! :)  I started off with surprising my mom for Mother's Day! :)  I showed up a day early! :)  Man!  She was SOOO excited to see me! :)  I freaking love my family! :)  My mom is like one of my best friends! :)  Cliche comment, I know.  But seriously.  We used to but heads really bad and I could NOT talk to her about anything without the conversation ending badly!  :/  Man though..  We have both grown SOO much and we are starting to talk to each other and love each other!  It truly amazes me!  Not gonna lie!  :)  Yesterday, I called and talked to her about my new drama, Lane Deines.  He is such a cutie, but I dunno, I have never really liked a guy even a little bit that showed his interest as much as Lane does.  It is pretty insane!  So, I called and talked to my mommy and told her kinda my feelings about everything.  I don't really expect it to end in marriage or in anything super intense, I guess though you can never really tell how things are going to turn out!  :)  I just want to enjoy myself, and in all honesty, I am just really excited, to even be experiencing it! :)  It is really great!  I am not gonna lie, I am scared OUTTA MY MIND!!!  But I think it will be fun and great to experience! :)  So, I am really excited for my trip that I am going on in August! AWWWWWW!! :)   It is gonna be so super great! :)  I still haven't figured out what my major :P  AWWWW!!  I need to really get on top of things!   I really want to be a teacher of some sort!  I have even had some thought of home-teaching my kids!  Huh!?  Random thought! :)  I dunno, I have just always thought that my kids they need a great education, spiritually and physically! :)  I just don't know if I am really qualified for that job but it just sounds, and feels right!  :)  But in all honesty I think that God isn't going to tell me no, I just wish he would help me know what to prepare for!  I mean, I do have my patriarchal blessing but it mostly just tells me to do what I enjoy and I have discernment to know what things are right! GAH!! REALLYYY!!???  So retarded! I mean.... I am really happy that I get to know what things are right but I can't decide for the life of me!  Because I just enjoy so freaking much!  I can't decide and I can't pick favorites!  I mean, I say I love spring, its in my top 4 seasons! :P  Haha!  I know I am a super big dork!  Haha! :)  But I am super stoaked for this semester and for after it to see what happens!  :)  Life is so exciting and you never know what is gonna be thrown your way! :)  I love it! :)  The element of surprise! :)  Yay! :)
Well my friends, I think I am going to read a book... YES!  A book!  Be jealous! :)
Sinceriously,
Tauni Ackerman :)  This crazy College Girl :)

Um... Yes... It's true, there IS a first for everything! :)

Here I sit, on my couch! :) It has been a REALLY great day! and I can't imagine anything of the sort making it less! :) I heard a really great quote today, "Life hits hard! Its not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and get back up and keep moving forward." Winston Churchill :) My life is literally amazing right now and I am so happy for the people in my life! :) Everyone deserves happiness! NO MATTER WHAT! :) There is so many people who forget that! :) I love you all and you guys are amazing! :) Remember who you are and don't forget to smile :D 
Okay, well, let me start with 3 weeks ago....  I met this boy in the parking lot in a snazzy suit and I said, "well hello!  You look snazzy in yer suit!"  First conversation I had with the poor lad, I tell him my name! He said, "oh, so your pretty much a big deal?"  "Almost a compliment, I am a big deal..." Haha!  Brilliant Tauni!! :)  Is he ever going to talk to this weirdo again?!  Here, I am three weeks later!  We are DEFINITELY still talking!  :)  So, it all started off as we decided we were going to go do early morning baptisms.  Then, the next day!  We went on a walk!  Man.  Do I love walking! :)  We just wondered around until we found the nature park, talking about all sorts of awesomeness!  :)  We finally got to the park and we just sat and fed the ducks!  I am pretty sure we were there for at least an hour or so!  :)  It was SOOO much fun! :)  I got so very sunburned!  Awwww haha!  but did that stop me from going to the park and laying out in the sun? Nope!  Haha! Well, after that we established that we didn't think anything past friends would really work.  At least, because we just didn't feel anything past that! So, friends it sat!  We would keep planning to hang out but it would never really work out!  So, one day, I sat on my balcony and was just working on my homework, I was a wee bit chilly but it was WAY too distracting in my apartment. :P  So, I updated my Facebook status, as I do ;)  and guess who commented on it.. You guessed it!  :)  Yeah, so I had seen him a few hours before on campus and he had boiled eggs in his pocket!  SAY WHAAA!!??  Haha!  Silly boy!  He had made them right before he came so he carried them in his pocket and said they made quite the hand-warmers!  :)  Haha!  I gotta love my awesome friends!  But yes so he commented on my status and I ended up just going over to his apartment! :)  It was really fun!  and we were just talking and we couldn't really figure out why we couldn't "like" each other!  Bah!  We just got along so darn well!  So, as we sat there, he wanted to come and lay down on the couch I was on.  So, I said come on over!   So he laid on my leg and I was SOO tempted to play with his hair!  So, what did I do?!  Creepily touched it :P  Haha!  Then, turns out he likes it when people play with his hair!  PERFECT!  Cuz, I love to play with peoples hair!  So, haha!  Silly boy fell asleep!  Haha!  I thought it was pretty cute to be honest!  He was so embarrassed! But, ain't no thang! :)  I didn't mind really! :)  So then, we kinda just continued hanging out EVERY DAY!  Man it was super fun!  :)  I loved doing homework over at his apartment!  :)  Then the next day, we had Stake confo!  :)  It was fun, because before, I did my laundry and I went to the lounge to do my homework!  And guess who was there!?  YUP! :)  So, I just kinda chilled and whatevs...  Then, we walked to confo and then I ran into someone I knew, which oddly happens a lot lately! :)  But yeah so my spot next to him was taken :(  Sad!  But it's okay!  I sat in front of him and it was SO FANTASTIC! :)  I am so blessed to be at this school!  :)  I learn SOOOOOO much every day! :) So, we decided to go to the Regional conference together!  So, I sat next to him at that!  And MAN!  It was SO ABSOLUTELY amazing!  :)  We have such inspired men in this church!  It is amazing to me!  :)  But, during this confo, he leans forward! What could that POSSIBLY mean?!  I say, it means they want their back scratched!  So, I asked him if he wanted a back scratch!  :) :)  Freak yes he did! :)  And so I did!  :)  And then a couple days later, he was extremely busy!  I felt sympathy for the poor kid, and I offered to bring him some food! :)  And I did!  :)  I even put a little sticky note on his sandwich that said: 
From dawn til dusk you work so hard
with all your optimism you never neglect your guard.
Keep smiling and make good choices we always say.
I really hope you have a marvelous day!
Til the end, Endure, Endure!
Then we shall hang out for sure! :)

<3 your bestie Tauni :)

Man!  haha!  :)  He loved it!  So, right after I gave him his lunch he asked me if I wanted to go to devo with him!  And but of course I did!  :)  So, I did!  And he started falling asleep and I scratched his back again!  :)  Man!  It was so great! :)  And then yesterday!  I went on "phone-fast"  and It was SO great! :)  Turns out... So did he! :)  haha!  Weird!  :)  Me and him are so crazy alike, I can't even grasp the reality of it! :)  But yeah and we ironically ran into each other and he asked if I wanted to go on a lunch break! So, I did! and I went t over to his apartment and we made chicken, rice, pineapple, and sauce! :)  Man!  SOOO GOOODDEE!! :)  But yes, it was quite the experience to hear his roommates and the interesting things they talk about when girls aren't around! :)  Haha!  Quite hilarious!  I think he was even a little embarrassed by those silly boys!  :)  I think he's adorable to be honest!  :)  Haha!  I was eating and I tend to make noises as I eat... So, he made a noise too.. Then his roommate just asked, "Should I get a chaperon or should I leave. Also, why aren't you guys dating?"  Huh?  Then this sweet boy turns to me and asks, "Yeah why aren't we dating?"  WHAT!?  Haha! He said, "it's on your shoulders now!"  Haha!  :)  It was pretty funny!  Then he told me that his roommates were all asking the same question.. I wanted to expound... but I didn't!  So then we went to Walgreens and just kinda talked about it pikito... and we just walked in and he said something cheesy.  :)  Cheesy is my favorite :)  Haha!  He said, "Yay!  More laundry money, oh and I need to wash my car too!"  I said, "Oh, to impress the ladies?"  He said, "Is it working?"  Haha! :)  He is like my favoritest person ever! :D  Haha!  The guy behind the counter had this awkward face after which made it even better! :)  So, the question still lingered.... "Why aren't we dating?"  When we got back to his apartment he was sending a letter to the finances office and we were talking to Grant and Rachael.  And, we said something super similar and they asked, "why aren't you too dating?"  GAH!  and haha!  then he turns to me and says, "I don't know honestly."  then he added, "Hey Tauni, is this our address?"  Haha! :)  THAT THREW EVERYONE FOR A LOOP!! It was HILARIOUS! :)    We decided to go do homework in the lounge and we just sat on the big couch!  I wanted to bring it up,but then his friend showed up... So I figured, maybe I'm not supposed to talk to him! :P  So, after our homework time was pretty much over, we were gonna head home and sleep! but, I helped him take some stuff over to his apartment and I had this feeling that he wanted me to stay!  So, I decided that I would go sit on the couch as he was putting some of his stuff away!  He came out in his shorts and T-shirt and his blanket and he put it over me and him and he just kinda scooted down and I laid my head on his shoulder and my arms and hands were just kinda wrapped around his arm!  I kinda just stroked his arm a little and he stroked mine and we were just sitting there and cuddling!  :) :)  I never had cuddled before and I really quite enjoyed it! :)  And we would just talk to each other and it was cute and really quite entertaining :)  Then I fell asleep!  Garwsh!!  Haha!   He asked me if I was sleeping and I said, No.  He said are you lying to me, yes!  I was so nervous!  And Haha!  :)  So, then he walked me home! :)  We hugged and we both made this sound when we hugged each other! haha!  It was pretty funny :)  Then, I went inside and I had a text from him...  He said, thank you for being so amazing!  And I said I don't think I can compare to how amazing you are! :)  Man he is just SO great! I just hope these feelings are mutual!  I've had butterflies all day!  We talked about how we didn't have feelings before, but how I thought it could be good if we just tried it out! :)  And He just said he didn't want it to go super fast!  :)  Me never being in a relationship was TOTALLY okay with that!  I told him, I would let him set the pace! :)  And that we would go slow! :) Man... I can't even think of someone more awesome!  He speaks his mind and I'm not scared to talk to him about anything!  He is so great! :)  This morning he needed a hair cut and Kayla cut it for him!  He walks in and his hair is stickin up and he literally looks like he just walked out of bed :)  Haha!  I thought it was absolutely adorable :)  And yeah!  so then I made some pancakes and we ate breakfast and we just talked and he was being such a goober!  :)  But then he got up and took mine and his own plate! :)  Then he  decided it was time for him to leave and go get ready!  but he just sat there, rubbing my shoulders, scratching my back... :)  Then, he had to leave so I got up and we hugged and man... He is going to Utah this weekend and I think I just might be bored out of my mind!   :P  Haha!  :)  I'll definitely miss him lots!  but Ain't no thang!  :)  I just hope he doesn't change his mind when he's gone! :/  Haha!  :) He is great!  He teases me sometimes... but I am a  tease-able person and I think its funny cuz I totally tease him back!  :)  And he makes me feel absolutely amazing and he is so funny! :)  I am excited to see where this might lead! :)  Wish me luck my friends :)  

Love you guys! :D

Tauni Ackerman :)