So, I am pretty sure that I am the most blessed person in my eyes right now! The Lord has blessed me sooooo much with such wonderful friends, with a family that loves and supports me, and a boyfriend that I am absolutely crazy about. :) How in the world can I be so blessed?! This past week was really great! Just to start off the week, Monday was pretty insane! I mean, I went on a walk with Lane and we talked a lot. I felt kind of confused and I didn't really know what to do and I didn't really know what to think really. I prayed so much for the next few days to know if, maybe, I am supposed to stay with Lane and if I am supposed to be supporting him. Ever since he came over to my house and gave me a blessing, I could feel myself falling in love with him. My first thought was, "No way are you falling in love with him. You have only been together for almost 2 weeks." But then I thought something else. I have known Lane since the 19th of April and I am pretty sure I felt a connection the first time we really encountered with one another. It was like we talked and talked and I felt like I had literally known him forever! After thinking about all this, my heart felt at peace! Then on Monday, I had him come over to my house and had him read about this dream I had about him. It was, in a nutshell, a dream that made me feel sad and discouraged. In the dream, he told me he couldn't be with me because I deserve better. Man, it killed me inside! But, after talking to him about it.... WOWWZZAA!! I felt a ton better and I loved him even more! He just read my journal entry about it and made me feel better and we just hugged and I felt such relief and peace! So, then Tuesday... MAN! It was such a crazy, and busy day! I had woken up and was getting ready for class and then after class, I came and got ready because I had to sing in Women's Glee for Devotional! OH MY GOSH! I was so nervous, I nearly wet myself I am pretty sure! ;P But yeah! I also made my man a sandwich. ( Clique I know ;)) Haha! :) I just love making him happy and feel loved and important! I hear people complain all the time about needy companions or boyfriends or girlfriends and wow! I can't think of anything better than making someone else happy! It is honestly a challenge but it is kinda like a fun game and blessing to be able to have the opportunity to help someone see themselves the way God sees them! I just LOVE it! So, after devotional on Tuesday, me and Lane prepared ourselves to meet the FAM! Whoa! I can't decide which of us was more nervous! I wished he would hold my hand on the way down, but the wind disagreed! The wind was blowing all over the place and he needed to keep both hands on the wheel! The thing that I love is that when I think something he says something about it that makes me feel better! Like he turned to me and said, "I would hold your hand but I don't want to kill us both." WHOA! What the heck?! Can I say nicely said, brother? Man. There are moments we have like that ALL the time! I love it! So, we finally got down to Idaho Falls, at Texas Roadhouse to meet, Mom, Dad, NaNa, PaPa, Grandma Ackerman, Kia, Chantelle, Justin, and Alicent. Dang, I thought I was going to pass out! Of course, the first thing NaNa asks is, "where did you serve your mission." Haha! "Seattle." He proudly chimed! :) He met everyone and I could tell he was just as nervous as heck! But, no worries because by this point we were holding hands and it made me feel so much better! As I sat there with my family, I just kind of sat there and watched him interact with my siblings answer to the teasing comments from my PaPa and Mom. I was amazed! He did soooo well! As I took him to graduation, I was not as nervous and I was honestly excited to show off my boy and just show people this great man that I have been falling in love with! It was so great! I felt like I left him in the dust a little bit but just watching him and having him close by my side.... It was like I know God has my happiness in mind! :) After the night was done, we traveled back to Rexburg! I felt this new connection with Lane. I told him some things from my childhood up to a few years ago and I was just amazed at how well I trusted him! But after a while, I found I was so tired, so on the way home, I fell asleep. After we got back home, I came back to my apartment and cried. Why you ask? Because, Lane is just absolutely fabulous and I just didn't know how to show him, and I just was having feelings I didn't think would come so fast. I was honestly just so scared! I didn't talk to Lane for a few hours. After a while, Emily came in and helped me by just sending Lane a message. Lane asked me if I wanted we could take a break so we weren't going so fast. I wanted to just say, "No! I just want to be with you more and more, it just scares me." But I just asked him if he wanted to take a break. And you know what he said, "No, not at all. After the car ride home, I want to be with you more." :) Like I said, he just knows what to say to make me feel loved and just knows me so well. He then told me about a really cool experience he had in the car. :) While I was sleeping, having me close, he felt a connection that gave him peace and he said he saw me as God sees me. Man, I was blown away. Did I cry again? Yes. Something I failed to tell him, or anyone for the fact, is the experience I had while I was sleeping. I had felt that feeling of peace but as well as acceptance. As I slept, I had a very special dream that I hold close to my heart! That dream was so extremely life changing and I never asked Lane, but at a point in my dream, I felt completely aware of my surroundings and I tightened my grip on his hand, never wanting this feeling to go away! I am glad we both had such an experience! On Thursday, I just felt so on top of the world! My mom called me and asked me if I was going to go to my cousins graduation on campus. I went and I was so scared that I was going to come back moody and stuff. But no. I was fine and I loved it. It might have had something to do that right beforeI left I ran into Lane and I was SOOO happy to see him! I think I can't even remember how I lived without him before! He makes me so happy and just...complete! Then on that Friday, I felt so great, yet again, and I was thinking I wouldn't be able to see Lane before he left for Utah. But... After he got done at the temple he called me and asked if I wanted to come over and we could watch the Lion King and hang out! AWWWWWWEEEESOMEEE! :) So, of course I did! :) I went over and we cuddled and after his roommates left, I found we both sat up and just held hands. I don't know how it is possible to love someone more when you stop cuddling and just hold hands. I just saw a light and felt this sense of respect and I just continued to gain respect and love for him, as we had decided that we can't cuddle unless other people are around! :) Pretty close to the end of the movie, his roommates and Rachael Versey and Marlowe came over and they all squished on a couch with me and Lane on the little couch. So, I moved over onto his lap to make room for others to sit down! And as we sat there, he was playing with my hair and haha, he found my ticklish spot on the back of my neck. haha! :) It was great! I just love it when we are close and just, he knows how to make me feel amazing and loved. So, we decided to go to Jamba Juice. After we got our Jambas, we came home and me and him just sat in the back of Rachael's car. Man, I turned to look at him and his face was so close to mine and I panicked. I was pretty sure he wanted to kiss me! So, as we sat there, I almost just snagged a kiss but instead I just rubbed my nose with his and then we went inside! He told me on the way in, not to think he was a bad boyfriend, he was planning on kissing me but he just didn't want to get me sick. :) AWWW! :) I am soooo excited but sooooo nervous! I think he is planning something for tomorrow! I don't know what but... I have a feeling I am going to like it! Yesterday, he was down in Utah and I missed him like crazy! How in the world can I be so deprived of one person for only a day? Man though, while he was down there, he texted me and asked me questions about where I want to live, and what temple I want to get married in. I just love this boy! He just is so perfect for me! I can say something completely awkward and he would laugh and love me anyways. I wrote him a letter during church and gave it to him after church! :) I can't wait when I get to hang out with him again, and hold his hand, make jokes with him. He is just so great and understands me like no one else! (except Jesus and HF of course.) :D I love my life and it just keeps getting better! :)
Love you all, and I will keep everyone updated! :)
Tauni Ackerman :) Lovesick College Girl! <3
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