Alrighty Blogging peeps!
I don't really have time to blog right now but I need to do some journaling and what better than blog?! Okay, so this week has been going by so slow already! Oh my word! It is ridiculous! :P I really am starting to get stressed out beyond capacity! I really wish I had someone to talk to! I mean I have fabulous friends and a very supportive family.... But being up here, at BYU-I, I have been feeling this feeling of being alone that I can't quite describe. I have been trying to more positive and be the optimistic person about never having a boyfriend, never been kissed, never being able to relate. I think all this stress is just building up and I don't see how everyone else is still mackin' with their boyfriends not even giving thought to their classes that end in a week. I have fallen so behind though. I feel like I allowed this self pity party reign my time and consume me fully! I hate it to be honest! I really don't like feeling like this and I need to buck up and be the person I know I am. Which is strong and patient! :) I can do it! :) I need to start going by a schedule.. No late nights, no all-nighters, I need to start waking up early, reading my scriptures, reflecting on my life, setting goals. Okay, I have heard by writing something down it is making goals so this is how my schedule should be next semester...
Daily Schedule
-Wake up by 6 am
-Read scriptures, say Morning Prayers
-Be ready by 8 am
-Classes start 9 am at school until 3 pm (Homework, studying)
-(Job) 4-8?
-Homework/Studying
-Work out 9:30
-10:30 get back from working out
-Scripture study/Night prayers
-In bed by 11.
THURSDAYS
-Wake up by 5 am
-Temple trip
-7 am Scriptures
Alright. So, now that I put that out there, I feel like I should now feel the responsibility to make it happen! :) And I will!! I am hoping to meet my goal weight of 160 and also have straight A's next semester! :) I am going to haffta go on a budget hard core next semester and it will be hard but it's gonna have to happen! I am really starting to get lonely I guess because I am missing my missionary guys SO BADLY! :( I know that I wasn't "involved" with them or anything and I have been trying to push them out of my brain!!! But they were just such a big part of my life as my best friends and just being those guys that were constantly there for me :) I am trying SO VERY HARD to smile and say, well they are doing the Lord's work and that is what they should be doing! Which is COMPLETELY true! I just don't know how they are doing it honestly.... I miss them so badly and they probably don't even know how much I miss them and how I honestly wish they would just come back!! HOW IN THE WORLD can someone handle 2 years away from someone!? Why couldn't I be one of those people that didn't have friends so I wouldn't have to miss people! ? Haha! No... That's a lie! They changed my life so much! :) i just want them to come back sometimes to tell me a funny joke, to give me a great big hug, to tell me I look good, to just make my day! But I know they are doing the things they are supposed to be doing! :) And they worked SO hard to get there! :) So, I smile on for them as my heart aches and weeps for their company! Sorry.... I don't mean to be a downer! It also might be since I haven't gotten a letter in 2 1/2 weeks and I am DYING!! I can't even imagine when they go to Russia and Argentina!! It will take about this long to even get letters! Gah!! Stupid mail system! Too bad I just love writing letters so very much! :) I just hope I get one soon or I will go NUTS!! :P
I love my boys, and I am SOOO Excited for next semester! I hope to meet tons of new people and to start on the road to becoming what I want to be! :) I have already jumpstarted it and it has been great so far! :) So my life is looking to the beam of hope and I am going to be who I need to be to be ready for my special someone! :) I know, I am 19 and I don't need to be thinking of those things... But I do. I ALWAYS need to be preparing whether it be for marriage, mission, or school, or even just life that will throw me its challenges... I NEED TO BE READY! :) Well, I think I got out what I needed! :)
Love you guys! Keep it real!
Love <3
Tauni Ackerman
The Sleepless College Girl :P
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